Long Art titles about Eugene,OR
“Concerned citizen calls the station manager at KVAL to complain that their digital broadcast is interfering with his reception of KWVA, 88.1 on the radio dial, but it doesn’t really matter because everything is on the internet these days and he can access it via his $250 computer from Next Step recycling.”
“Mayor Kitty Piercy meets with Genghis Khan to discuss the status of the Oregon marionberry over a soy au lait at Full City and hears tribal drumming coming from the Saturday Market, but it is Wednesday.”
“U2 couldn’t sell out the Wow Hall as it was the same night Phil Lesh and Ratdog were playing the Cuthbert. They added Radiohead to the bill, but it still did not sell out because the Country Fair was going on and Ninkasi beers were being offered at half off at Sam Bond’s Garage. They added the guy who sings at 8th and Willamette and the show sold out even though NASCAR was making its debut in Springfield.”
“In an effort to improve tourism, local witches brought Steve Prefontaine back to life to run one last race. Although he looks tattered, he still runs fast. He is ahead of his competitors until he breathes in some field burning smoke and dies. He gets up and retakes the lead when suddenly police and federal agents surround him and taser him to his death for suspected past eco-terrorism crimes. He gets up and again pushes past the other runners for the victory. He is later disqualified for a banned substance that was in the Burrito Boy burrito he had before the race.” TB 2009